Writers are always asking for advice about how to write the query that will help them land an agent.  I used a recent mega-session of reviewing submissions to draw up a list of reasons why I say no. So here it is, in no particular order, my list of Query Killers to avoid if you want to hook yourself an agent!

• Doesn’t follow the submission guidelines. Agents post guidelines to let prospective clients know what they need to consider new projects. Not following the guidelines sends a clear message about how much time and respect you have put into your query. SOLUTION: Follow each agent’s guidelines to the letter.
• The writing isn’t strong enough. The 1^st pages you include in your query have to be exquisite.  A great premise followed by a weak sample still gets a NO. SOLUTION: Don’t send an agent your work-in-progress to find out how you are doing. This is the job of an editor. Hire one to review your manuscript or proposal.
• No hook. The best way to peak an agent’s interest, a hook is one sentence that captures the essence of your book, introduces the main characters and the key point of drama, and establishes that your book is fresh and marketable.  Writing the hook line is incredibly difficult, but nailing a good one is worth the effort. SOLUTION: Pull books in your genre off the shelf and start reading the first line or two of the jacket copy to get an idea of what you need to do. Work on it until every person who you say it to, without fail, says, “Oooh I want to read that book.”  One of my favorite posts on premise lines from Alexandra Sokoloff is here: http://thedarksalon.blogspot.com/2008/05/whats-your-premise.html.
• The premise seems derivative: Many submissions come in that try to jump on a hot trend. The problem is that by time the market is flooded with books of a certain type, editors and agents have been sick of the topic for a year or two (Yes I’m looking at you vampires!). SOLUTION: It may seem like there is nothing new under the sun, but talented writers prove us wrong every year. Keep working until you have something fresh!
• Narrative nonfiction with no arc. This is particularly a problem with memoir submissions. Authors realize correctly that they’ve had an interesting life but then submit a book that reads like “this happened-this happened-and this happened.” It falls flat and asks the readers to do the work that the author should be doing. SOLUTION: All narrative non-fiction (i.e. non-fiction not of the step-by-step how-to variety) needs an arc including a compelling story and characters, a key point of drama and good pacing to draw the reader through the story. You also have to balance your writing with a combination of facts or remembrances and meaning making.  After you have done your research and know you have a good subject, you need to figure out what the story is.  Here is a great post from Alan Rinzler about constructing a traditional narrative arc. http://www.alanrinzler.com/blog/2008/07/07/ask-the-editor-constructing-the-narrative-arc/ WARNING: Yes, there are also many creative and successful alternative approaches to constructing an arc. Take the road less traveled if you must, but it’s more work for you and harder to find people willing to go with you on the trip.
• Lack of author platform. Platform is the author’s ability to directly reach out to potential readers (i.e. purchasers) of the book through speaking engagements, media appearances and an online presence. The platform isn’t about what you are going to do; it’s about what you already have in place. SOLUTION: Your platform must be fully developed prior to querying an agent or shopping the projects to publishers.
• Does not fit the requirements of the proposed genre. Every genre has its conventions and you need to follow them. That means you need to have the right length, the right amount of world building, the right reading level, the right voice and so forth. SOLUTION: Mine blog posts, writers’ groups, and publisher websites to find out what the conventions of your genre are and follow them.
• Too long. A high word count sends up an instant red-flag that the manuscript needs serious editing. Readers of a few select genres such as high-fantasy and historical fiction go for extra length, but make sure you are in line with the conventions of the genre (per previous bullet). Pages translate to cost. So a long book has to sell more copies in order to be profitable. When your manuscript is shorter, you lower the financial risk of publishing your book which is a smart strategy for a first time author without an established audience.  SOLUTION: Cut, cut and cut again. When you are famous you can intimidate your editor and write that book that’s twice as long as it should be.
• Criticisms of other agents or complaints that no one gets you. At least once a week I get a query in which an author complains about another agent or about the short-sightedness of the publishing industry. When you start your query by complaining, you come across as cranky, and that’s not appealing. SOLUTION: Mom was right, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
• I don’t love it. If your query makes it through all the other query killers, you’ve passed the viability test. But then comes a tough question – Do if I love it enough to make it part of my life? Selling books is a tough business. To be a good agent you have to be willing to climb mountains and fight dragons for the books and authors you represent. But you can only do that if you love them. SOLUTION: The best advice for addressing this query killer is to do your research, create a great query and let the magic happen!

Good Luck with landing an agent and keep writing!

Jacquie Flynn

We were delighted to hear that Jid Lee’s TO KILL A TIGER (Overlook Press, 2010),  a memoir of growing up in Korea that gorgeously blends her personal recollections with history and myth, has been recognized by ForeWord Book of the Year Awards with a Bronze Award; these awards are specifically intended for distinguished books published by independent presses.  Jid spent twelve years writing and refining the memoir, including time spent working with a private editor who is now Editor-in-Chief of a major trade house before writing me a query letter.  It took me a long time to read it (it was well over 120,000 words!) and an even longer time to deliberate about whether or not to take it on.  I didn’t know if American readers had enough curiosity about Korean history and culture, although I thought they should be curious.

By the time Jid’s query letter landed on my desk, her work had been rejected by scores of literary agents.  I was knocked out by the brilliance of her insight, her mesmerizing use of a language that was not her native tongue, her in-depth understanding of the complex history of the country where she grew up in a time of tremendous upheaval and change, and the haunting power of memory.  I insisted that Jid work with an editor to cut the manuscript down and tighten it before we could submit it to publishers.  Many editors turned it down, albeit graciously, some of them perplexed by the idea of selling a work by a native Korean who lives and teaches at the university level in the deep South (a fact I found intriguing); we expect our “Asian” memoirs to be written by Asian-American writers like Amy Tan.  But Peter Mayer at Overlook Press was eager to develop an Asian list, and a young editor who was at Overlook at the time, Juliet Grames, brought it to his attention.  Thank you, Juliet and Peter, for your vision and courage in helping me and Jid bring this wonderful work into print.  I am so pleased to see ForeWord, read widely by booksellers and librarians, honor Jid Lee’s achievement.

–Joelle Delbourgo

It was a Saturday night and alas, I was doing laundry and continuing to unpack boxes from a recent move.  When I discarded some cartons in the recycling room on my complex, I noticed that someone had neatly stacked scores of books–good books–including pristine hardcovers and a tasteful selection of trade paperback fiction.  I could not help a slight contraction of upset at the thought that these books might be thrown out the next morning in the trash. A few minutes later, arriving with another load of cardboard boxes, I noticed that the books were gone, as well as my boxes.  I discovered them a few minutes later, neatly stacked in my discarded boxes next to the concierge’s desk.

“Do you like to read?,” I asked.  “Oh,” he said, his whole face lighting up.  “I just love to read!  And next year, my three children will be coming here permanently from Ghana, and they will be so happy to find all of these wonderful books.” I asked him what he liked to read, to which he replied with an ear-splitting grin:  “Everything!”

It was my turn to glow.  Now I know, when I next prune my ever-growing collection, to whom I can donate books.  My friend in the lobby does not own a Kindle, a Nook, or any other device, but taking possession of actual, physical books gave him incredible joy.  Would he have felt the same way if I offered to give him a free download?  Not a relevant one for the moment, but food for thought.

–Joelle Delbourgo

From August 27 – September 3, join me, journalist and writer Leslie Levine, publicist and author Kathi Kamen Goldmark and Sam Barry, author and marketing director at HarperOne, for a week of workshops and discussion about the written word. Whether you are a published writer, an aspiring writer or just a passionate reader of books who has thought about writing but never had the courage to try, you will find inspiration and pleasure in joining our team in a week of activities.  Located in Tecata, Mexico, Rancho La Puerta offers a stunning and serene setting, a healthy and active lifestyle filled with exercise and relaxation classes, mountain hikes, cooking classes at a first-class cooking school and organic farm, delicious vegetarian meals, spa treatments and the company of other remarkable individuals. We will take you behind-the-scenes of the publishing industry, discuss current trends, and offer a lot of practical advice and encouragement for writers of all genres and level. And you’re invited to join the Rancho book club. For more about the calendar of events, go to www.rancholapuerta.

–Joelle Delbourgo

Networking is the single most effective tool for finding a job–and social networking makes the networking effort incredibly more powerful. The ability to create, develop and maintain a social network that boosts a career is one of the biggest challenges for the 21st-century job seeker. Based on the expertise of Fortune 500 hiring professionals and recruiters, The Web 2.0 Job Finder will show you how to build your online presence and brand and use it to get the job you want.

I was thrilled to receive our first trade review of a remarkable whistle-blowing book from veteran financial reporter at the Wall Street Journal, Ellen E. Schultz, which publishes in September.  We’ve also just learned that Ellen will be on NPR’s Morning Edition on 9/12.  I’m confident that this is just the beginning of a terrific publicity campaign, engineered by Schultz’s brilliant team at Penguin’s Portfolio and Angela Hayes of Goldberg McDuffie, who has to be one of the top business book PR people in the business.

Retirement Heist: How Companies Plunder and Profit from the Nest Eggs of American WorkersEllen E. Schultz. Penguin/Portfolio, $26.95 (256p) ISBN 978-1-59184-333-7

The retirement crisis is no accident, claims Wall Street Journal investigative reporter Schultz; large companies have played a significant role in its creation to protect the wealth of its top executives. When GE, IBM, Verizon, and others slashed pensions and medical benefits for millions of American retirees, they pointed fingers everywhere but at themselves–but who was really at fault? Pension funds were not bleeding the companies of cash. GE hadn’t contributed a cent to the workers’ pension plans since 1987, but still had enough money to cover all current and future retirees. Executive pensions at GE, with a $6 billion obligation, are a drag on earnings. These are largely hidden, however, lumped in with the figures for regular pensions. Schultz’s methodical cataloguing of these abuses paints a highly unflattering picture of companies that cut benefits to boost earnings, lay off older workers who are entering the years in which their pensions will spike, inflate retiree health benefits to boost profits, lobby for laws that keep the system inequitable, hoard death benefits, and fire whistle-blowers. Heartbreaking stories of destitute seniors are juxtaposed with the obscene surpluses in pension funds for executives ($25 billion at GE; $24 billion at Verizon; $20 billion at AT&T)–and unless the global retirement industry is reined in, Schultz points out, it will continue to capture retirement wealth earned by many to enrich a relative few, and within our lifetimes, “retirement” will inevitably revert to what it was in the 1930s and before. A fascinating, troubling exposé and a sobering call to arms. (Sept.)

Congratulations, Ellen!

–Joelle Delbourgo

How exciting to have Publishers Weekly, the leading trade publication for bookseller community embrace this innovative first book from Christopher J. Frank and Paul F. Magnone.  DRINKING FROM THE FIREHOSE addresses the information overload we face and helps us to see the forest for the trees. In short, data explosion can lead to decision implosion.  The authors–who have worked for Fortune 500 companies like American Express, Microsoft and IBM, as well as for start-ups–raise seven simple but powerful questions that can help us to make better decisions and appear to be the smartest person in the room. (Coming in September, 2011, from Portfolio/Penguin)

–Joelle Delbourgo

In today’s competitive global marketplace, a college education is more important than ever before.  THE FINANCIAL AID HANDBOOK  is the essential guide to getting the education you want and need for a price that you can afford. It provides advice from two college admissions officers with more than 70 years of experience between them, and covers such topics as: the 7 biggest myths about paying for college, the ultimate guide to federal, state and private school loans, how to negotiate with the financial aid office, profiles of schools with exceptional merit aid, help decoding and completing the FAFSA–and much more. (Career Press)