Three Little Words— Ashley Rhodes-Courter

Ashley Rhodes-Courter was placed in foster care at the age of three when her mother was erroneously arrested for writing a bad check. For the next nine years, she was shuttled in and out of fourteen foster homes. During that time, she was aided (and, in some cases, harmed) by 73 child welfare administrators, 44 child welfare caseworkers, 17 psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists, and 23 attorneys, all of which she details in her memoir Three Little Words.

Ashley’s biological mother hampers her adjustment to her new homes, by making her promise to never allow anyone else to be her “mama.” As foster parents attempt to connect with Ashley, she rebuffs them, explaining to the reader, “Somewhere my mother was still out there. I would keep my promise to her even if she had not kept any of hers to me, and I would never love anyone else.” The promise isn’t difficult to keep, especially when she is placed with an abusive couple. Yet Ashley finds comfort at school, where she discovers fictional orphans Anne of Green Gables and Harry Potter who teach her that some stories can have happy endings.

At twelve, Ashley is adopted by Phil and Gay Courter. Far from being delighted, she cannot believe that the Courters will be any different from the “parents” she’s had in the past. After all, she explains, “My mother swore that she loved me, and she abandoned me in the end.” However, when the Courters do not throw her out, after she spends several months purposefully misbehaving, Ashley realizes that she has at last found a loving family.

She does not, however, forget the neglect she suffered while in foster care. When Ashley hears that the abusive couple with whom she was placed have been charged with child abuse, she testifies against them and is subsequently invited to speak to the National Court Appointed Special Advocates Association on the importance of representing foster children in court. She receives a standing ovation and, in the days that follow, Ashley receives dozens of similar requests from venues across the country.

Since then, Ashley has given over 100 speeches about foster care, several before Congress. She has been honored by both Bill Clinton and J.K. Rowling, and was named Youth Advocate of the Year in 2004 by the North American Council on Adoptable Children. The essay that formed the basis of Three Little Words was published in the New York Times Magazine in 2003.

A New York Times bestseller, Three Little Words has been praised on dosomething.org: “Ashley gives inspiration to troubled youths who feel as if their lives, action, and ideas don’t matter.” Publishers Weekly concurs, adding that Ashley’s “ability to form intelligent, open-minded conclusions about her traumatic childhood demonstrates her remarkable control and insight, and although there are plenty of wrenching moments, she succeeds not in attracting pity but in her stated intention, of drawing attention to the children who currently share the plight that she herself overcame.”

Author’s website: http://www.rhodes-courter.com/

— Megan Hogan